Self -confidence: 7 ways to instill great confidence in children

How do we prepare children and ourselves for facing the challenges of the new century, challenges that are really beyond our limited understanding and comprehension?

Finding equilibrium amidst dramatic change, or happiness, means teaching imagination, resiliency and nurturing a strong spiritual life.  Of the three, I clearly recognize that spiritual strength, the strong relationship with their inner, Divine Self, takes care of the rest.

Swami Shāntānanda tells a story in his book, The Splendor of Recognition, about a pilgrimage to the basilica of the Virgin of Guadalupe in Mexico with his guru, Gurumayi Chidvilāsānda and other students. At the shrine he prayed for strength, faith, devotion, open-heartedness and wisdom to help others and finally, to gain liberation. When he told Gurumayi his prayers, she responded, “Poor lady!  She’s going to be very busy with you.” “Why didn’t you ask just for liberation?  With that, you obtain everything.”

Self-confidence is trust and faith in the Self.  It must arise from within. It must depend on knowing “I” beyond the earthly role, which while may be strong in some, is never enough. Self-confidence is not achieved by individual accomplishment: by doing well in school, winning a trophy, getting a compliment.  It cannot be taught intellectually. Self-confidence is a value feeling seated in the gut, the navel chakra, by the ego’s connection and identification with the source of all knowing, the Divine.

Linda Kavelin Popov writes in The Family Virtues Guide,

When you have confidence, you trust that whatever comes to you in your life is a gift from God for your perfecting.

She further defines what confidence looks like:

• You see yourself as a learner without judgment about success of failure
• You trust that all will work for the greatest good of all
• You have a positive outlook that allows you to make mistakes and know you will do better next time
• You have the ability to try new things despite your fear

It’s not what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life; it is how you handle what happens to you.

Zig Ziglar

Trust and faith in a spiritual life, in whatever form it is for you- God, the inner Self, the soul, the Great Mystery-  are at the core of self-confidence.  We look to the ego as the intermediary in this relationship, for takes on identities both physical and spiritual.

From within or from behind, a light shines through us upon things, and makes us aware that we are nothing, but the light is all. A man is the fasade of a temple wherein all wisdom and all good abide. What we commonly call man, the eating, drinking, planting, counting man, does not, as we know him, represent himself, but misrepresents himself. Him we do not respect, but the soul, whose organ he is, would he let it appear through his action, would make our knees bend. When it breathes through his intellect, it is genius; when it breathes through his will, it is virtue; when it flows through his affection, it is love. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Over-soul

Ego, upon recognizing and embracing its own, beautiful inner Self, expands beyond the limitations dictated by culture and physical realms and experiences pure freedom and complete self-confidence.  Bhagavān Nityānanda (1897-1961), an enlightened avatar, would often say,

The Heart is the hub of all sacred places.  Go there and roam.

To encourage and nurture the relationship with the inner Self and instill great self-confidence, resilience, imagination and happiness, we nourish the inner life of the child as real and important, a sacred playground of infinite possibilities where they roam wild in complete freedom.

💛Karen

Activity 1:  Tell a story of confidence rising

How stories came to be from the Seneca is one of my absolute favorite stories.  It was recorded in the early 20th century by Arthur Parker. I have told it many times, and the more I tell it, the more it deepens in me. I am so pleased to share it again here.  It is a powerful rags-to-riches tale of a boy who listens deeply to the stories held in the Earth.  In nurturing a relationship with Mother Earth and learning to listen to her, we deeply nourish self-confidence. This story can be found in The Girl who Helped Thunder and other Native American Tales retold by James Bruchac and Joseph Bruchac.

Activity 2:  Find a rock

A touchstone is a wonderful grounding tool to overcome maya, the illusion of our duality, and to remember to relax into trust and faith when experiencing fear or self-doubt.  Although the word, “touchstone” is a literal one, a touchstone can take on any form, even a story or memory can act as a touchstone to bring peace of mind and Divine guidance.

For this activity, find a stone with your child, a perfect stone, one that fits well into your hand and make it a trusted friend.  This stone, even if small, can hold all of your secrets, all of your worries, all of your fears and doubts.  And if you are listening, it can speak and whisper to you the secrets of the Earth.

You may also read together Everybody Needs a Rock by Byrd Baylor for the inspired poetry and purpose in finding your right rock.

Activity 3: Meditate on a pebble

Use your special rock as an anchor.  Holding it in your closed hand, guide your child to do the same.  Close your eyes and say:

• Breathing in I am solid
• Breathing out I am safe
• Breathing in I am Earth
• Breathing out I am free
• Breathing in I am strong
• Breathing out I am sure
• Breathing in I am this rock
• Breathing out I am beautiful

Thich Nhat Hanh provides another aspect of this activity in his book, A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in Four Pebbles.

Activity 4 – Embrace boredom, do nothing

The Inner self speaks loudest in times of stillness, in boredom.  Embrace boredom whenever it arises as portals into a spiritual playground.  Allow the tension to build, wait through it instead of filling in these sacred moments with videos, games, or other activities. You are not your child’s cruise director. Instead,

get out of the way, do nothing, and allow slow time- large stretches of unscheduled time into life.  Witness new ideas, new characters, new play come into being in your child and yourself.

Another aspect of this is when you don’t know what to do, do nothing.  Let the Universe take care of your problems, including boredom.  Oftentimes, you will find that they simply dissolve and are replaced with new inspiration. For more on this, see Devotion: Release and Let Go.

Activity 5 – Make Art the Heart

These days, the popular STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) pedagogy of the past decade is being rapidly replaced with STEAM (A added for Art) as a focal linchpin for higher education.  In my home, I hold art alone as all that is necessary for educating children for the changing landscape of the next century.  Art in the form of music, poetry, literature, painting, sewing, cooking, storytelling, architecture, acting and so on, is the foundation for all other learning.  Through art, the spirit Self, the Divine Self, is given and allowed voice.  The artistic voice is strong, confident, imaginative, and innovative.  In this voice, deep wells of resilience and resourcefulness are found.  Allow your child to discover their own artistic voice and spirit.

A society’s competitive advantage will come not from how well its schools teach the multiplication and periodic tables, but from how well they stimulate imagination and creativity.  

Albert Einstein

Waldorf education created by Rudolf Steiner embraces art as foundational to learning.  For inspiration on how art can be used as the main teaching medium, see Our Artistic Classroom.

The system of education which, instead of keeping artistic training apart as a privilege for a few specialists, frankly introduced it as a part of culture no less necessary than literature or science, will have taken a great step forward in the perfecting of national education.

Sri Aurobindo Ghose

Activity 6:  Raise your vibration

Singing and chanting brings soulful connection and oneness.  It lifts the Spirit and can even help access Divine realms.

For clarity, adopt a hand mudra when chanting.  My hands often go quite naturally to the gyan mudra, even as I write this.  For this mudra, place the pointer finger against the thumb and extend the rest of the hand.  This hand position, or mudra, may be held with palm up or down.

Lord Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and his story too is a powerful one.  Nothing could stop Ganesh from protecting his mother Parvati..  He even survived his head being cut off by his father, the great God, Shiva.  Call on Ganesh for wisdom and confidence to handle any problem.  This is one of my favorite chants.  I have also used this version to relieve headaches and pain. It is sung by Satyaa & Pari and posted by Vanessa Friggo.

Another chant that reminds us that all of life is a gift from God and not ours to own, including our perceived obstacles is Now I Walk in Beauty, from the Navajo Blessing Way.  I sing this chant often in closing my classroom.  This version is from Betsey Beckham.

Activity 7: Affirmative prayer for self-confidence for kids

Related Posts:

Image credits

Images are free for commercial use and sourced from Pixabay and Wikimedia Commons.  Thank you to the following image artists

Girl praying – Barbara Jackson ;
Ganesha – Pexels;
Ralph Waldo Emerson – Most likely a “drawing by Sam W. Rowse in the possession of Charles Eliot Norton, Esq.”, but—perhaps—a work “engraved and published by S.A. Schoff, 1878”, from that drawing.;
Rock in hand – PawinG;
Gyan Hand Mudra- laurajuarez

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